Always choose the Hat

This past weekend like so many others, Marty and I went to the cabin. When I am at the cabin I keep up with my daily obsession of walking. Because I am at the cabin the collection of hats I can choose from is different than what I keep at home. Many of the hats are straw, all have a wide brim. There are baseball caps, sun hats and even a "Filson". When the Grand-kids come to the lake, they grab whatever hat catches their fancy. It is at the lake where they are willing to wear something on their head they would not for a minute consider wearing at home. The hats are gifts, thrift store finds, old favorites and family heirlooms. They are all important.

Then there is this: Over the years, without any conscious choice I have started a hat collection. I have them stacked in the front closet, the back closet, they hang from the knobs on the closet door. Twelve of them hang from a rack over the bar in the family room. One sits on the dash of a red Dodge truck.
I have the hat my brother Steve was awarded when he was "Top Gun" for West Metro Swat. I have a fire hat with the dates of Mikes life embroidered on it that I cry when I look at it and refuse to wear.I have the Mannheim hat my Dad left here at Mikes house that I never gave him back.  I have hats from Garden Lake in Ely, Black Mountain in Nevada and the hat Mike gave his dad from the Ponderosa Ranch. On the dash of Mikes truck sits his John Deere hat. Sweat stained, faded and stamped with Owner Original. In 9 years the hat has only been out of Mikes truck once when  my sister used it in  a photo shoot for Mikes sisters. When Mike died the fire guys left their Black Mountain belt buckles. Mike's good friend Patti, left her hat.

 When Mike died, the funeral home put together a video of photographs from Mike's career. The girls chose the songs for the background music. One of the songs was by Chris Ladoux called "This Cowboy's Hat". Mike was a huge Chris Ladoux fan and if a song could sum up in a small way who someone was, this is "Mike's song." The song tells the story of a young man that finds himself in a place and time where he is going to have to make a stand. "Well I was sittin in a coffee shop, just havin' a cup to pass the time. Swappin  some stories with this ole cowboy friend of mine. When some moto-cycler riders started snickering in the back. Started pokin' fun at my friends hat. One ole boy said hey Tex, where'd you park your horse. Now my friend just pulled his hat down low, but they couldn't be ignored. One husky fella said I think I'll rip that hat right off your head. That's when my friend turned around and this is what he said.......You'll ride a black tornado, 'cross the western sky. Rope an ole' blue northern and milk it till it's dry. Bull dawg the Mississippi, and pin her ears down flat.....Long before you take this cowboys hat." C.L.

This is what I know: In April I added three hats to the rack above the bar and one hat to the collection at the lake. All of them belonged to my oldest brother Mike. Each one of these hats is a memory of who Mike was. I have his "Damsite" hat from Pine River that he gave me when he entered Hospice. I have the "Double Zero" hat that his wife gave me as we sorted through Mikes things, I have the "Wildland Fire Hat" that my folks brought Mike from Boise when he was too ill to travel there on his own and finally I have Mike's fishing hat that he wore when he felt well enough to fish.
When I take my Son Mike's truck in for servicing, although there are items worth hundreds of dollars in the truck, it is a sweat-stained faded John Deere hat that I always check to see remains on the dash.
I have seen and heard stories of families coming apart over material things that were expensive, property that is fought for hard, money that is somehow thought it is either deserved or needed to make life perfect. It isn't and it won't. Surround yourself with what you need to keep yourself strong and then be willing to fight for it. There is a line from the Wizard of Oz..."You have always had the power." and you have. Your only need in this world are the things and the people that have made you who you are. The things that when you are challenged you will reply "You'll ride a black tornado, 'cross the western sky. Rope an ole' blue northern and milk it till it's dry. Bull dawg the Mississippi and pin her ears down flat....long before you take this cowboys hat."

I'd like to share an excerpt from the eulogy I wrote for my brother Mike. "The two Mike's of our lives now share the same address. I have my personal GPS locked onto the coordinates for Heaven, I will pray everyday for the rest of my life for the grace to arrive there safely. There is much I still question in this world, there is much I do not know. But I know this. There is not a single doubt in my mind that I will see both of them again. Not....one."

You will have many choices to make in this life. Build what is inside you carefully. Add only what you need to keep yourself strong and ALWAYS choose the hat.

till next time.