"It is what it is"

Martin and I are having a week that would test the patience of anyone. The following is a Facebook post of mine from Tuesday.

"A day brightener for anyone who thinks their week is off to a crappy start.

1. Our well seems to be failing. Water turned from crystal clear to brown.

2. Our furnace has failed.

3. Shower in BR sprung a leak and basement got wet.

4. Washing machine just leaked all over the floor.

5. Walk-in care (me). Nothing 10 days of antibiotics hopefully will cure.

6. Appt. at noon. Couldn't get car out of driveway. Decided to walk. The dog decided to walk too. Had to turn around and walk her home a half a mile.
Did I mention it's only Tuesday?, oh and 8 inches of new snow.
Top that"

Then there is this: My response to life's quirks has evolved over the years. I am ashamed to admit in the early days of our marriage, anything and pretty much everything outside of the norm would throw me for a loop. When they say opposites attract that is exactly the case with Martin and I. When  things went wrong I would completely implode and he would calmly sort through the situation and then take action. We were the ying and yang of life's problems. For some reason, completely unexplained yet very fortunate, all four kids inherited Marty's calm. They are all rock steady under pressure, good problem solvers and "roll with the punch" kind of people. I am still the "loose cannon".
 Of the four kids tho Mike hands down, was the "Master of Disaster". He had the ability to never and I mean never lose it. He approached life with an attitude that crap will come your way so deal with it. It was what made him perfect for the sport of mushing. A sport dependent on 8-10 dogs that absolutely never do what you think they will. It was what made him the best guy to work beside, talk too and watch your back. He was calm, he was steady, he was rock solid.
One of the guys Mike worked with on the Hotshot Crew said that there was an incident where Mike caught one of the new guys goofing off on a fire. He said it was the first and only time the crew saw Mike lose his temper. He said Mike yelled so loud and so long that all the guys stopped working, two guys climbed up on rocks just to watch what they never thought they would see. Mike losing his temper.
In roughly 2005 Mike came over to our lake lot to help Marty with a project. He loaded up his skid-steer on a trailer that was pretty light for the job. It was a heavy equipment trailer but under-rated for the weight of a skid-steer. Our lake place is reached by a two lane highway, rural but heavily traveled. I drove over mid-way through the weekend and Marty and I followed behind Mike, Sunday on the drive home. We were traveling south and came up behind a Semi truck that for whatever reason was going about 50 mph. We followed the truck for many miles and then I saw Mike put on his blinker to pass. He went out into the oncoming lane and due to the weight of the skid-steer, he was having trouble getting up the speed necessary to pass quickly. A car came up to the 2 lane from the left and turned onto the highway without looking right. It was a woman driving and she entered the highway without seeing that Mike was trying to pass. At this point Mike's truck was even with the cab of the Semi, he still needed to get past him with the trailer. The semi backed off to help Mike out but the approaching driver appeared clueless of impending disaster. Marty and I following in our truck, I literally was hyper-ventilating. Marty was gripping the wheel, completely silent. Mike made it around the semi with the trailer with literally inches to spare. When we reached our turn-off, we all pulled off the road. Mike walked back to our truck where I was "freaking out". I said to him, "were you scared?" and this is what he said. "It was either going to work for me, or it wasn't."

This is what I know: This week has not improved. Martin hit a Raccoon, taking out the entire front grill of Mike's old Civic. The car we are trying so hard to get to 500,000 miles. It's going to happen this year.
My car after this weeks snowstorm has a muffler that sounds somewhere between a Locomotive and a 747.
Martin cleaned the filters on the furnace, we had new fuel delivered on top of the old fuel. We thinned the fuel. Marty tried igniting the furnace, yup.......nothin.
I have showered once this week. I have washed no clothes.
The antibiotics have kicked in and I no longer feel as tho I swallowed razor blades.
I went to the liquor store and replaced my wine supply.
I have gone from wondering if it's too early in the week to drink, to wondering if it's too early in the day to drink.
I met with the well drillers for a conference yesterday. I left the meeting feeling dumber than when I came. After delivering a cooler full of water samples and trying to pretend I understand couplers, galvanized pipe vs. PVC, water tables and pumps, the well driller said to me "It is what it is". When he said those five words, the same five words Mike said ALL the time, I knew it was Mike telling me, it will be OK. Don't choose this battle, it's not a fight. The well drillers are coming tomorrow for the second time this week.  I am setting the bar low.

 It took losing Mike to turn me into the person that understands it is either going to work or it isn't. I don't make that as a simple statement. I make that statement as a life changing philosophy. How did I never know in 50 years that all the freaking out in the world can't change most things. Maybe all things.  For 29 years I followed the way Mike lived and yet never realized that I was doing it wrong. If the saying is "you must choose your battles" then hold back as much as you can because the biggest battles you will never see coming. "It is what it is" and "It will either work for me, or it won't". Truer words, never spoken.

till next time.